Please no more models!

In the year 2000 you could buy a pint for £2, you could also open and close a train door by yourself and if you so pleased also stick your head out of the window of a fast moving train. Facebook and Twitter did not exist and of course Big Brother One hit the screens. Ten normal people (no models, no actors) entered the house; normal people would continue to enter the house for the next few series until the wannabes arrived.

A lot of contestants have had the 'Big Brother experience' since 2000 and I have managed to meet most of them. In every basket there is of course a rotten apple, but by and large most if not all are good people, models or not.

Perhaps Big Brother got tired, but in the end rather than sending Big Brother to a hospice to die gracefully it went to Channel 5, although I still feel that the last series of Big Brother on Channel 4 had some of the funniest and best tasks to date. 

I'm not sure it sits as well on Channel 5 at this time.

But  apart from throwing money at the problem, 5 need to listen to their audience. Channel 5's first non-celebrity Big Brother was largely forgettable as the casting featured too many young people.  This year they have partially listened and yes there are a few people over the age of 30 and there is a Scottish person - whoopiee!

However having five fashion/glamour models is not great. If I wanted to see a model I would go to a fashion show and as for the two porn stars - again if I wanted to watch them I would disengage the security on my Sky Box and watch some of the more interesting channels...

A fundamental point of the show is to have a good cross-section of people, not a cross-section of wannabes who would sell their story for three Curly Wurly's, a bag of lemon bonbons and one fun-sized Milky Way. On the face of it they all look OK-ish but reading their biog's,I want to sit in a darkened room and scream. 

If Big Brother just wants to just appeal to the readers of the Daily Star so be it. But not everyone who reads the Daily Star watches Big Brother. I am sure having a few models for some people is good eye candy but if you cast properly you can get better looking and more intelligent model-types than they have. Also by picking the most ridiculous posh person Big Brother stereotypically again is telling us all posh people look like horses and all models are vacuous.

The so-called twist was good but could have been better. Why not throw some out on the first night? Why wait three days to throw them out and then replace them with a wildcard. Pointless! Depending on how good the tasks are we might end up with a great show. 

But when it comes to the cast, as all Big Brother fans know, any boast in their video's prior to entering the house must be taken with a pinch of salt. How about next year no models, and the Live Feed!

Early Thoughts

1) Deana – seems like they are reverting to character type ie Shilpa Shetty – why would she do the show as she clearly doesn’t need the money – yet another wannabe

 

2) Arron – so much for ordinary members of the public – yet another model to join the ranks of actors, singers etc that BB seems to want these days

 

3) Caroline – token posh bird – I don’t think she will last more than two weeks as the public don’t like posh/dappy people in BB

 

4) Shievonne – a former Playboy bunny with no job, hyperactive, non-stop talker – anyone that says they like to have fun when they go into BB normally ends up being the most boring one…

 

5) Conor – Irish – personal trainer, another arrogant guy who likes himself – he will be the naked one (there is one every year that likes to walk around naked – it was Craig in my year) – then we find out still lives with his mum, therefore he is all talk…

 

6) Lauren – teeth like a horse, what is it with these martial arts experts (that’s three so far in the first six that have gone into the house) – she could be the one to watch – pretty but not too pretty, confident but not too confident - I think the public will like her

 

7) Luke – chef, married – was born female – nothing like Nadia though the other gender-change housemate – bit of an unfair advantage having that back story

 

8) Adam lived in Dudley and LA – gangs, drugs, jail, fraud, assault etc  - could be a good role model if he really is reformed

 

9) Sara – model – yawning now, yet another model –Her Scottish accent makes her sound like an old woman.

 

10) Scott – if not posh then where does your accent come from?

 

11) Ashleigh – just vacuous – doesn’t deserve any more blog space

 

12) Luke, from Liverpool – full of himself, don’t think he will last too long – dressed like a bank manager

 

13) Lydia – another model, dancer yaddy yaddy ya - engaged to someone 'famous' that none of us have heard of

 

14) Benedict – porn actor who claims to have been shy as a teenager – you decide - have met him and he is a good bloke

 

15) Chris – good a normal guy – finally

16) Victoria – and another model….she is a dog lover though so that is alright

 

At this earlier stage Chris To Win

Casting Giggs is so wrong on many levels

Friday morning and it is 8.36 am and they are all sound asleep. If I was Big Brother, I would wake them up. They are after all being paid made much more than the national average wage for three weeks work, so entertain us.

Are these people celebrities? Well I recognised four, as I have met them, Nicola (Savvy) Andrew (must be slightly gay) and Denise (MILF) Natalie (Good fun) The others I would not visually know who they are. Again 5 have the budget, they did pay Pamela over $2.5m, so why not get some people everyone has heard of?

As usual everyone knew who was going in before the show was aired, and as the coverage was fifteen minutes behind the real show, it was being leaked from the studio.

Brian Dowling did a competent job dressed as a chauffeur disguised as a killer, but he still cannot interview to save his life.
The house looks great, and the first secret task fell slightly flat, as the questions were too easy and the ease that Natalie worked it.

There is a fine line between a good line up and great one, the Americans rarely perform well in Big Brother , and those twins ( I do not rate them as great beauties) will bore us to death, unless they spend the whole show in their swim wear.

There is also a fine line of great tasks and pointless ones, in Ultimate Big Brother every tasks was boring, and we were bored.

Casting Giggs is so wrong on many levels, not only that, what is it telling the younger viewers? That being unfaithful pays? Clever casting would had Imogen Thomas in the house, as well.

She should be lying low, (Giggs woman) and not prostituting herself on reality TV and if she wants to do it, it should be the redemption channel and not on Big Brother

Big Brother needs to be mean, we need proper tasks and no pampering, turn the heat up, and let the game begin.

Day One

To Win Natalie
To go first Giggs (sadly by default the Madsen, might just walk)

Get Me Out of Here-Freddie!

I love I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! for two reasons. Firstly, I would never do it and secondly, we just want most of them brought down a peg or two, or one of them to be eaten. No not really, only joking. On the opening night I thought that if any of them had walked past me I would of not recognised them. By name maybe but by sight no way. Apart from Freddie - whom I met a long time ago and was kind and gave me good media advice. I never thought it possible but most celebrities are fairly thick. Just watch (Who Wants To Be A Millionaire or The Million Pound Drop and you will know what I mean) and before you start I have won The Weakest Link!


Jessica-Jane a model, asked Freddie: "Have you ever eaten a hamster" to which Freddie replies "No" - she then follows up with "Do you know anyone else who has eaten a hamster?" Brilliant second question in normal circumstances but the first question was rapaciously stupid.The other ridiculous question was over on ITV2, which annoyingly had 'nutritionist' and camp dweller from last year Gillian McKeith as a guest - what a waste of an air flight! Anyway in keeping with TV now having to have as many regional accents as possible the new presenter Laura Whitmore is Irish (she speaks at the same speed as a demented Gatling gun) and asked: "What camp would you prefer?" but as one is luxurious and the other is hell it is hardly a relevant or clever question.





I think Fatima a true Olympic hero, who resembles a cross between Barry Manilow and Uri Geller, is an early favourite along with the Rockstar who has either been edited out or has died on set. I do not believe Mark is that caring and I think he is acting, but good on him. I suspect he will be doing every task as the public want to punish him for his cheating antics on TOWIE. I think producers want Stefanie out first as the edit has made her look bitchy or perhaps her agent has put in the contract that she goes first.


Putting Freddie in the Jungle with heart issues was like sending a recovering sex addict to Las Vegas. Now he is out for good, the show has lost a strong character.


However Sinitta and Pat Sharp? Just too annoying!


Good start though with 11.5 million viewers - looks like ITV are King of the Jungle with this one

Aaron a worthy Winner? Not sure + the future of BB

I am not sure if Aaron is a worthy winner of Big Brother or not. What I do know is that he was desperate to be on the show (10 attempts) and he studied every episode and every character and every possibility.
So much so, that I saw a lot of me in him as he went around casting his spell on the other dimwits in the house. He is certainly weird, but he won, against all odds, although in one of my first blogs I did say he would reach the final.
I am surprised to see Jay finishing so high. After being kicked off the Katy Price show, he should not of even reached the second round of Big Brother auditions. I know exactly why he was kicked off and hopefully the press do too and that it all comes out soon like one of his smelly farts.
Alex was the real winner here, pleasant, attractive to a point, kind, caring, thoughtful, but not very bright. How she did not win, I am not sure.
The sad fact is the channel will think they have a huge success on their hands. Well they do to a point. But it could be better. This is my ten point plan of what I would do.
1) Give Emma Willis the main presenting job. Two reasons: greater publicity in magazines (women celebs sell more magazines) and she genuinely loves the show.
2) Brian Dowling to present BBBITS as this is a man whose ad libs are delivered well and BBBITS would showcase his talent for spontaneous banter and fun better than the tightly scripted main show.
3) BBBITS should have more involvement from the panel and dump some of the pointless sketches.
4) Have 12 contestants in the Big Brother house of all ages and at least one should be from Scotland as well.
5) Have an early twist like removing one contestant from the house immediately by face-to-face voting.
6) No more soft tasks
7) No more giving contestants booze and parties for no reason.
8) No outside contact whatsoever.
9) Greater punishments for rule breakers.
10) Bring back the Live feed!
It wont take much to make this show great once more.

Let us wait until January to see. But please no Lauren!!!

The XFactor and Big Brothers Problems

I like the X Factor - well I did. I think this has been the worse series to date. Not only has the judging panel changed for the worse, the singing talent is not as good as it has been before.

I like Louis Wash, though he does make some half-baked decisions and quite a lot of the time he dresses his acts in a bizarre and pantomime-like way. He also knows his stuff hence my mixed feelings about him.

Gary Barlow is without doubt uber-talented as a musician and judge. Tulisa and Kelly are musicallyas well, but as judges, no. They fall very short.

The show has its faults as it is too long with too many adverts and the Sunday show should be combined with Saturday's.

I also think Dermot is not charismatic enough to present the show and has become complacent. Simon Cowell needs to come back tomorrow along with Cheryl Cole.

Big Brother suffers a similar problem. The show is not as good as it should be or could be. Sure the channel are happy with the ratings, but only because they aren't far off the higher ratings it used to obtain on Channel 4.

Why be content with average ratings when they could be so much better than they are today?

When you start to tinker with a popular format and try and make it your own, it never works and the viewers get bored and switch off.

The commonality between both shows is the fans will not put up being manipulated, short changed or taken for fools. Some TV executives, take the audience for fools. The huge tsunami that is social media means that it is very difficult to cheat or not to show or tmiss out important facts or events within these shows that are sometimes critical to the outcome of the show. The viewers know exactly what is wrong with both shows and it will take someone brave to put their hands up and say we have made a mistake, we will give the viewers what they want.

It is not going to happen soon, but until it does, viewers will continue to watch something as mundanely brilliant as Strictly Come Dancing.

Tonights Cynical Eviction

It seems absurd there is an eviction tonight, especially when one of the original possible evictees walked out of the house in a cowardly fashion - Jem has now left four housemates up for tonight's eviction (Aaron, Faye, Jay, Harry) and three of them do not deserve it as it is only as a result of her actions.

In contrast, in the latest mind-bogglingly-dumb betting task BB helped Alex at the last moment by cajoling her to eat on one more chocolate - so she passed and the house completed and won another pointless task. This then rewarded them with yet more booze.

I would have expected them to use the same logic on Jem explaining to her that there are only two days to go and that she should stay. I thought she was awful, selfish, did not live up to her promises, and ruined her sisters week. The house is better off without her and she would have gone anyway, but that is not the point.

I do believe the evictions should have been cancelled this week and along with the diehard BB fans I think this is more a cynical manipulation to try and bring in revenue at the cost of integrity of the show.

Somebody is going tonight that should not. Sadly that person is going to be Harry. Well done Jem!


Do comment as I like to read your opinions.

Nick