Get Me Out of Here-Freddie!

I love I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! for two reasons. Firstly, I would never do it and secondly, we just want most of them brought down a peg or two, or one of them to be eaten. No not really, only joking. On the opening night I thought that if any of them had walked past me I would of not recognised them. By name maybe but by sight no way. Apart from Freddie - whom I met a long time ago and was kind and gave me good media advice. I never thought it possible but most celebrities are fairly thick. Just watch (Who Wants To Be A Millionaire or The Million Pound Drop and you will know what I mean) and before you start I have won The Weakest Link!


Jessica-Jane a model, asked Freddie: "Have you ever eaten a hamster" to which Freddie replies "No" - she then follows up with "Do you know anyone else who has eaten a hamster?" Brilliant second question in normal circumstances but the first question was rapaciously stupid.The other ridiculous question was over on ITV2, which annoyingly had 'nutritionist' and camp dweller from last year Gillian McKeith as a guest - what a waste of an air flight! Anyway in keeping with TV now having to have as many regional accents as possible the new presenter Laura Whitmore is Irish (she speaks at the same speed as a demented Gatling gun) and asked: "What camp would you prefer?" but as one is luxurious and the other is hell it is hardly a relevant or clever question.





I think Fatima a true Olympic hero, who resembles a cross between Barry Manilow and Uri Geller, is an early favourite along with the Rockstar who has either been edited out or has died on set. I do not believe Mark is that caring and I think he is acting, but good on him. I suspect he will be doing every task as the public want to punish him for his cheating antics on TOWIE. I think producers want Stefanie out first as the edit has made her look bitchy or perhaps her agent has put in the contract that she goes first.


Putting Freddie in the Jungle with heart issues was like sending a recovering sex addict to Las Vegas. Now he is out for good, the show has lost a strong character.


However Sinitta and Pat Sharp? Just too annoying!


Good start though with 11.5 million viewers - looks like ITV are King of the Jungle with this one

Aaron a worthy Winner? Not sure + the future of BB

I am not sure if Aaron is a worthy winner of Big Brother or not. What I do know is that he was desperate to be on the show (10 attempts) and he studied every episode and every character and every possibility.
So much so, that I saw a lot of me in him as he went around casting his spell on the other dimwits in the house. He is certainly weird, but he won, against all odds, although in one of my first blogs I did say he would reach the final.
I am surprised to see Jay finishing so high. After being kicked off the Katy Price show, he should not of even reached the second round of Big Brother auditions. I know exactly why he was kicked off and hopefully the press do too and that it all comes out soon like one of his smelly farts.
Alex was the real winner here, pleasant, attractive to a point, kind, caring, thoughtful, but not very bright. How she did not win, I am not sure.
The sad fact is the channel will think they have a huge success on their hands. Well they do to a point. But it could be better. This is my ten point plan of what I would do.
1) Give Emma Willis the main presenting job. Two reasons: greater publicity in magazines (women celebs sell more magazines) and she genuinely loves the show.
2) Brian Dowling to present BBBITS as this is a man whose ad libs are delivered well and BBBITS would showcase his talent for spontaneous banter and fun better than the tightly scripted main show.
3) BBBITS should have more involvement from the panel and dump some of the pointless sketches.
4) Have 12 contestants in the Big Brother house of all ages and at least one should be from Scotland as well.
5) Have an early twist like removing one contestant from the house immediately by face-to-face voting.
6) No more soft tasks
7) No more giving contestants booze and parties for no reason.
8) No outside contact whatsoever.
9) Greater punishments for rule breakers.
10) Bring back the Live feed!
It wont take much to make this show great once more.

Let us wait until January to see. But please no Lauren!!!

The XFactor and Big Brothers Problems

I like the X Factor - well I did. I think this has been the worse series to date. Not only has the judging panel changed for the worse, the singing talent is not as good as it has been before.

I like Louis Wash, though he does make some half-baked decisions and quite a lot of the time he dresses his acts in a bizarre and pantomime-like way. He also knows his stuff hence my mixed feelings about him.

Gary Barlow is without doubt uber-talented as a musician and judge. Tulisa and Kelly are musicallyas well, but as judges, no. They fall very short.

The show has its faults as it is too long with too many adverts and the Sunday show should be combined with Saturday's.

I also think Dermot is not charismatic enough to present the show and has become complacent. Simon Cowell needs to come back tomorrow along with Cheryl Cole.

Big Brother suffers a similar problem. The show is not as good as it should be or could be. Sure the channel are happy with the ratings, but only because they aren't far off the higher ratings it used to obtain on Channel 4.

Why be content with average ratings when they could be so much better than they are today?

When you start to tinker with a popular format and try and make it your own, it never works and the viewers get bored and switch off.

The commonality between both shows is the fans will not put up being manipulated, short changed or taken for fools. Some TV executives, take the audience for fools. The huge tsunami that is social media means that it is very difficult to cheat or not to show or tmiss out important facts or events within these shows that are sometimes critical to the outcome of the show. The viewers know exactly what is wrong with both shows and it will take someone brave to put their hands up and say we have made a mistake, we will give the viewers what they want.

It is not going to happen soon, but until it does, viewers will continue to watch something as mundanely brilliant as Strictly Come Dancing.

Tonights Cynical Eviction

It seems absurd there is an eviction tonight, especially when one of the original possible evictees walked out of the house in a cowardly fashion - Jem has now left four housemates up for tonight's eviction (Aaron, Faye, Jay, Harry) and three of them do not deserve it as it is only as a result of her actions.

In contrast, in the latest mind-bogglingly-dumb betting task BB helped Alex at the last moment by cajoling her to eat on one more chocolate - so she passed and the house completed and won another pointless task. This then rewarded them with yet more booze.

I would have expected them to use the same logic on Jem explaining to her that there are only two days to go and that she should stay. I thought she was awful, selfish, did not live up to her promises, and ruined her sisters week. The house is better off without her and she would have gone anyway, but that is not the point.

I do believe the evictions should have been cancelled this week and along with the diehard BB fans I think this is more a cynical manipulation to try and bring in revenue at the cost of integrity of the show.

Somebody is going tonight that should not. Sadly that person is going to be Harry. Well done Jem!


Do comment as I like to read your opinions.

Nick

Who goes? Big Brother decides! Sorry BB but we the public actually decide - stupid!

Yet another voting twist, another uproar. Last week Anton, despite a huge manipulation to keep him in the house, social media won the day and Anton was out and the fans quite rightly saw through BB's plan.

Although to give it some merit, this was a clever idea, but at this stage of the competition it is clearly the wrong idea. True BB fans hate nominations being messed around. There, I said it.

Firstly the Palmer family (Faye/Gem’s relatives) have ganged up on Aaron. By putting Gem’s sister, who they knew she always argued with, in the house and getting Gem’s boyfriend and their mother to vote is biased in the extreme.

Unless the Palmer family and the rest of the country are watching a different programme I do not think Aaron has behaved that badly - yes, he is complex and a little odd at times but he did not deserve that many votes.

Jem on the other hand I think is just awful, she has destroyed her sister’s enjoyment of Big Brother and offers nothing to the viewers. She has nothing constructive to say, she is not interesting and should have carried out her threat to leave. She survived last week only because Anton was hated - and looking at the coverage this week she might survive again as BB clearly wants Aaron out. Alex is still the clear winner in my view as I feel Channel 5 owner Richard Desmond clearly wants to turn her into another money-making Jade Goody (hopefully without the tragedy this time around). The public seems to love no one better than a not-that-bright-but-sweet girl.

Just remember, it is you who decides so do vote for your favourite – if you care that much…

The Great Reality Swindle - Anton

Until last night's reveal of a twist, released on the Big Brother Twitter account and BBITS and due to be shown on tonight's show, I could have told you who would NOT win and that was Anton, Jem and Louise. In essence the twist saves Jay and Anton...

Now, after Aden's exit, when even the housemates were surprised Anton stayed it is clear that Big Brother wants him and Jay in the final and what better way in protecting them by pulling this stunt (watch the show tonight to see what they do).

Jay though is already a losing finalist - did you spot him last night over on Sky with Katie Price's reality show, Signed By Katie where he reached the final 12. I watched and it seems to have taken a little bit of every reality show that has ever been on television and put it into the mix. But Katie is a smart cookie and I have nothing but admiration for her strong business sense and work ethic. Lets watch and see what happens to Jay.

I was beginning to think as as Big Brother past winners have included a gay man, a Scot, a Welsh girl and a mix of not bright and very dull contestants plus Pete that we might finally have someone who went to public school winning the show ie Harry - but this has been dashed. I still think despite the twist/stunt Alex might win.

Is Aaron becoming a little weird or is it a game he is playing? Tom and Alex are floating just below the radar, enough for them to be effectively edited out the show, and that is not a bad thing as the final is quite close. Jem who initially promised great things has gone into hibernation.

The proof is in the pudding and lets see how bright Anton is with the twist. But he has got one thing against him - the public do not like him. But then again when Jade was up for the most one-sided eviction ever, she survived. So stranger things can happen especially on 'reality' TV which we all know by now has nothing to do with 'reality'.

Do comment on this blog and let me know your thoughts about when producers alter voting patterns.

Nick

Anton the Snake

Unless Jay puts the contents of his morning visit to the loo, allegedly, in the fridge again and this time the edit actually shows it then Anton will be the first male to be evicted from the house. It is sad because at first his alter ego in the diary room was mildly amusing, (like Harry ordering all those banana's) but as Anton has failed to deliver in front of his housemates he is a coward first and snake second. He is going to get a huge shock to his over-inflated ego when he is booed to buggery on Friday night!


Although Jem (Faye's sister) might make good television she is equally unlikeable, if for not for ruining her sisters enjoyment in the house. However the house is a better place for her as it would have been duller than BB4 if she was not there


Once ex-housemate Rebekah entered the house for a date with Tom in last night's show I had to go and lie down in darkened room and scream. Her agent has probably and correctly diagnosed that the only hope for her t make any money (apart from appearing on various late night Sky channels) is to try and make her relationship with Aden work. The poor boy, he will in time look back and kick himself at his youthful naivety.


As for the relationship between Jay and Louise, at least Louise had the foresight to end this. Now let us see if Jem moves in on Jay. They deserve each other.



Do let me know your thoughts.



Nick

out with old, in with the new

It was obvious Maisy was history, even before she was officially up for eviction. Being an ex housemate you get a good feel for what is really going on. I did not like her, she tried too hard and will be in the future one those of the ex contestants, who give the few a bad name, by turning up to the opening of a door.

I was not surprised a new contestant has entered the house, albeit someone 's sister, we might have for the first time someone who actually delivers on their promise to go in and cause trouble. But this will lead ultimately to their demise. I do not think a new person should enter after a month, they have far too much knowledge, and it usually puts them in an advantageous position.

I liked Jay at first, but there is something not quite right and I cannot put my finger on it yet. Do not get me started on Aden or Anton, one is a wimp and one a snake. I am surprised Harry is still there, him and Aaron are so diversely different from the other housemates, and that is why they get on.

I am more than sure that Alex will now win BB, she is going through a PLKE (positive low key edit) which means they are slowly building her up. So far my predictions have been correct, anyone disagree?

Why walking out of the Big Brother house is a bad move

So, Mark now joins a list of just 14 people (out of 144 contestants who have been in the Big Brother house) who either walked, escaped over the wall in Sandy's case like some baboon escaping from a zoo, or have been expelled from the Big Brother house (errr, guilty).

I was surprised to see Mark walk as the dullard lovesick Aden or the mixed-up womaniser Aaron would have been prime candidates to walk from the house as they have reasons to want to leave.

Mark could have easily 'walked it' to the final of Big Brother (excuse the intended pun) and although his behaviour was erratic, verging on odd he did not have a bad bone in his body. He was like the court jester of the Big Brother kingdom so it will be even less entertaining now. I suspect he was simply bored.

I thought originally he was a plant and him walking out just endorses that feeling in my mind. But I guess he thought it was time to go. I feel that after watching the tapes back he might live to regret it when he realises he was in with a chance of winning.

What do you think about Mark walking?

Nick

BB, The Batchelor, X Factor,

There was only a 1/2 percent in it between Aden and Heaven in the voting to evict last Friday. But Heaven lost and was the third person to leave the Big Brother house. I think she should have stayed as she offers more as a housemate than Aden. But paradoxically she is also the reason why BB has lost viewers. She is totally nicely mad and her exit interview endorsed that.

Heaven perhaps would have been more suited to The Bachelor, a cretinous 'dating' programme with rugby star/Charlotte Church's ex Gavin Henson that is so watchable it should be everyone's guilty secret. But rather Like Big Brother there is huge manipulation in the production of it. Perhaps, the winner of Big Brother should win a date with Gavin Henson...

However the UK version, compare to the original US one, of The Bachelor is sycophantic to a huge extreme. I doubt very much Gavin likes any of the girls enough to marry them. A few of the contestants, just like in Big Brother are so-called models, actors and singer songwriters etc etc. For Gavin Henson, it is a paid kissing fest and for male viewers they watch on with pure jealousy.

The X Factor is not cruel - well it was by flying some contestants out on Easyjet, what a horrible fate. Louis' choices in the older category were baffling and wrong and I am sure he will be the first to lose an act.

Back to Big Brother, two girls are up for eviction this week (Faye and Maisy) and I think the ultra wannabee Maisy will be out. She comes over as so desperate to be famous. At this rate it will be an all boys final by default.

I like Aaron, but he is a bit weird. Jay allegedly putting his pooh in the freezer was awful and as he is a favoured contestant it was edited out - but that is Big Brother as we all know. Without live feed it is all about the edit...

Do comment on my blog as I do like your feedback.

Nick

Aden must have had a charisma bypass in his sleep

Rebekah was booted from the show last week, and quite rightly so. Her only chance of any limelight now is in the darkened booths of some strip joint. Even if you failed your GCSE in the school-of-the-bleeding-obvious there is little chance of any real romance between Aden or her.


Rebekah may be good at acting but her face was a picture when she went to visit Aden's mother (with a film crew for BBBITS), and then saw his single bed, teddy bar on said bed and condoms in his bottom drawer - her face betrayed her instantly as just hanging out for the OK! magazine cash cow. My suggestion: do photoshoots with Nuts and Zoo magazines and get your kit off, do a few paid personal appearances and leave Aden alone - because you might just wreck his life.


Now I am not sure if Aaron is asexual, bisexual, straight, gay or just confused! Or perhaps all.
Although he is a game player, he has even out-gamed himself by a series of schoolboy errors with Faye, Tom and Maisy - never good to play around with the emotions of one housemate let alone three...


Aaron will of course survive this week, be up next week again, survive and so on. Which means, as I explained in my last blog, the weak (Louise, Harry) get carried into another few free weeks of staying in the house - unless there is a double eviction three people are bound to be up for eviction each time.


I would save Heaven this week - yes she believes in giants, yes she is nicely mad rather than criminally insane, but she has character. Aden on the other hand must have had a charisma bypass in his sleep, and offers the viewers nothing apart from a hurt dog look. Get rid of him. Aden to go this week.


Rather like a hedgehog who has been kicked by a school boy, Alex is coming out of her ball of insecurity, and I now think she might make the final. It is early doors however - perhaps it will be Alex, Mark, Jay and Maisy in the final.

In other news:

When I left the Big Brother house in August 2000 my phone was hacked. Phone hacking has clearly been around for years. In my view the Dowler family recently were probably were given too much compensation. On the other hand and with the inevitability of another huge cash cow coming over the horizon Jade Goody's mum is now pursuing the NOTW for cash as she claims Jade's phone was hacked too. Enough said.

Three days before Ultimate Big Brother began in summer 2010 I tripped on a paving slab in a public place (therefore the pavement was council owned) and caused myself serious shoulder and ankle injuries that had they been spotted by the Big Brother medics I wouldn't have been allowed on the show.

On both issues I could have sued (the newspaper for hacking and the council for the faulty slab) but I have chosen not to. We are moving sadly into the arena of where there is blame there is a claim.


I also have never complained about my edit on the first Big Brother, as I believe that once you sign that form then you have to expect the good and the bad that comes with that decision.
I do however think that producers of Ultimate Big Brother were wrong not to show mine and Vic's Big Brother's Little Brothers Cousin show on the main programme.
You can see our YouTube videos here. http://www.youtube.com/user/flyingdogspoo

Heaven or Hell? Live Feed?

If the conspiracy theorists are right, Big Brother will edit Rebeckah in a good way in the next few days, thus resulting in Heaven going. This can happen as there is no live feed so it can not be proven either way who is the most two-faced in the house! They certainly won't edit it for Rebeckah to leave but of course the public ultimately decides.

There are five kinds of people that enter the house, although some run across more than one category:

1) THE MICE: People who should not really be there, but occasionally make a squeak like Tom, Harry and Alex.

2) THE WATCHERS: Mainly observe from the sidelines like Louise, Harry and Heaven.

3) THE DARK HORSES: They could make the final like Mark, Faye and Jay.

4) THE EMULATORS: Anton (acts like Vic Ebuwa did) Aaron/Rebeckah (copying me!)

5) THE GAME PLAYERS: Rebeckah, Aaron, Maisy and those who say they have no game plan but do like Aden and Anton.

Generally all of THE MICE survive until halfway through the show, THE WATCHERS, and THE EMULATORS leave before and just after halfway through the show. The obvious GAME PLAYERS fall in the final few weeks week, leaving a few MICE and THE DARK HORSES fight until the end.

This Friday we have a WATCHER and a GAME PLAYER/EMULATOR up for eviction. The game player is going to lose eventually, because if you play the game you have to do it without too much malice and with a twinkle in your eye. Rebeckah has over compensated her game playing, played her hands too early and has led the hapless Aden around much as a child does to a new puppy at Christmas. Had she not led him on, she might have survived this time. I also think she has cruel side to her that has betrayed the true her on a few occasions.

Heaven is mad, but not in a criminally insane scary way, but in the nice way that a pat on the head and a polite smile will do wonders for her and for you. But she is slightly too mad to stay in the house too long, unless she is up, like she is this week, with someone like Rebeckah in an eviction. I think she will survive this week, and go next week, thus giving credence to the fact that the WATCHERS always survive a little too long.

Word from Elstree is that the live feed was discussed by the executives, however I do not know what became of those conversations and wether or not the pats on the back (after great ratings for Celebrity Big Brother), have turned to 'where have all the viewers gone'?

I tell you where and that is to bed. This is term time and for a lot of viewers 10pm is just too late. I do think perhaps there should have been a five week break between the end of Celebrity and the start of civilian.

In my last blog, I argued for and against the live feed.

I believe the cost of the live feed is around £600,ooo. If you imagine what they paid Sally Bercow and Pamela Anderson, and assuming combined they were paid more than this (they were) but for arguments sake let us pretend their combined fee was £600,000. I personally think Pamela was under used and I think most fans would have rather had a live feed than have Sally or Pamela, who added nothing to the show.

I would not urge they bring back the live feed as it is not up to me, but I hope the channel consider what the fans want. I know that advertisers cannot buy the space as it already has been sold out this year and next year for Big Brother, so it cannot be about money.

So the question is why not? What's the answer Channel 5?

Live Feed or not? and why it is going slightly wrong.

The lack of a live feed is perhaps the most contentious issue for BB fans. But let us not lose sight that it was Channel 4 who forced the issue and took away the live feed citing quite reasonably, the cost, the extra staff and of course the legal issues in having a 24 hour feed.

I would like a live feed or live BB on TV 24-7 but it is not going to happen. Some say that there is no live feed because it leaves BB to edit how they feel. Again, I think this is true to a certain extent, but the live feed can also be manipulated equally as much as the real show, so the point is mute. However I believe there could be a live feed, but the cost per person would be quite high and therefore as a business it is not really viable for the channel in these tough economic times.

From an ex contestant point of view, I can identify with some really positive aspects of the show. The opening sequences are slick, the new contestants by and large are well cast, (give or take Harry and Alex) and the edit is fair. I think the mistake is having too many young people, as if they are trying to appeal to Daily Star (the owner of Channel 5 owns the newspaper too) viewers only. If they (5) want a show like this, then they should hire a villa in France and fill it with booze and young people and let the camera's roll.

I think 5 are trying to stamp their own identity on the show, and that is taking away from what us viewers really want. I am sure 5's hands have been tied by a greater power.

I am no producer, but I have argued before that the few ex-contestants that do have a brain should be employed by BB, because we know more than most what works and what does not with BB. Television is not always rocket science. Keep the format as is, cast people that job titles do not include models or singers, limit booze and food and have tough tasks.

BB should work and can work, but not if it is altered too dramatically to suit a certain audience, then it cannot work.

I am enjoying the series, but I believe it could be better - I am not saying I could change this overnight, but to make a difference you have to take a risk and if this means Endemol, the production company, saying to channel 5: "Sorry this is not working, we make it, you broadcast it but butt out as it is our franchise."

If indeed there are crisis meetings happening, as rumoured, then someone somewhere knows something is not right.

This is what I would do:

1) Face to face nominations

2) Endurance/24 hour tasks, or tasks that are designed to be failed then be passed. I have many ideas for this.

3) Booze and cigarettes need to earned not given

4) Cancel the oven clock to disorientate them (they don't have watches in the house)

5) Bring back the parrot or something that repeats key conversations

6) Wake them up earlier

7) Live streaming of some sort

8) No contact whatsoever with the outside world

What do you think can save the show? Do comment on this blog.

Nick

Big Brother Veteran: Eviction Night.

Big Brother Veteran: Eviction Night.: Wednesday night's show made me think Harry is indeed slightly odd. Like two school boys, Mark and Harry were up for a bit of, 'If I you sho...

Eviction Night.

Wednesday night's show made me think Harry is indeed slightly odd. Like two school boys, Mark and Harry were up for a bit of, 'If I you show you mine, will you show me yours'.

Luckily we were not treated to this spectacle, as Harry bottled it. Although, poor Harry being up for eviction for liking fox hunting. Tashie was an obvious choice for eviction along with Aaron as even as a viewer she is just plain annoying and arrogant and he hasn't joined in at all.

However the nominations were all very close - normally in the first week the boys vote for the girls and vice versa but this time there only a couple of votes in it. Big Brother history of a girl always leaving first would indicate that Tashie is going home - good news is she can go and see her new best friend Pammie in Malibu... However as this is now a vote to save, I think Harry is in equal danger for the chop tonight.

There are lots of questions on social networking and fan sites about the lack of live feed, how young contestants the contestants are and whether or not the Big Brother boss, a man called Jeff Ford, at Channel 5 has got this one right.

In respect of the contestants, yes, perhaps they are a bit young, and I would not have cast Alex and Harry as they look uncomfortable and awkward with cameras 24/7. However the rest are well cast and the potential for conflict is high which always makes for good watching.

The live feed issue is one in which I can see both sides of the argument and I could discuss the merits of both, but not on this occasion.

What I would change is that I would have a half an hour main show at 9pm and then have an extended one hour highlights at 11pm. This would make it very slicker.

It may be worth thinking about that Big Brother on 5 is just suited to the celebrity version as this would be more in keeping with the Desmond brands. Why not have two celeb BB shows a year, in between The X-Factor and I'm a Celeb Get Me out of Here. This would then be a runaway ratings success.

One last point, does anyone think that Mark is a plant?

Monday Tuesday Happy Days

Monday night on Big Brother was a mix of weird conversations, great game playing, much posturing, and a 'Baywatch running' task that was won by Maisy - this gave her the unfair advantage of being exempt from being nominated, otherwise she surely would have been. Bizarrely others were eliminated for having 'floppy arms' or for 'not taking it seriously enough'. Was Maisy chosen as the winner by Big Brother deliberately to keep her pretty little face in for another week?

Pamela picked up two new stalkers: in the form of big-headed misfit Tashie and Anton who is truly deluded if thinks he stands any chance with Pamela.

Heaven is a mad as bunch of frogs in a nice way and reminds me somewhat of Makosi. Jay reminds me of the janitor on the Alan Partridge show. Alex seems very uncomfortable with the whole experience, but it is early doors. So early in fact that the stripper-come-do-gooder-come-man-hater Rebeckah is inexplicably the first person to jump into bed with a man...

Aaron decided to wear a face mask and we saw little of Aden, Mark, Tom or Faye, but I do believe they are still in the show.

Tuesday night sees a lot of sexual tension in the house and Alex imitating a chicken is the first time she has come alive. Oh well, better than nothing.

I feel a bit sorry for Aden, who has since day one said he likes Rebeckah, being brushed off by her in the morning - he needs to make sure he doesn't come across as a love sick puppy though.

The so-called 'wolf pack' is just a way of a few of the housemates in Harry's words 'trying to create a bit of drama'. Bit juvenile but there are hours to kill in that house and it can get boring.

Aaron and Harry are like outsiders looking in on the Big Brother house. We are watching them and they are watching everyone else. Not a good tactic though as they will alienate themselves from the other housemates and then will be at risk of being nominated by the others.

Rebeckah made a huge mistake choosing Aden to lose his golden swimsuit for two reasons. Firstly Aden is her 'specia'l friend and secondly her only other competition in the house is Maisy so tactically she should have chosen her. It is with some irony that the three golden swimsuits are the three people that would have been up for eviction: Rebeckah, Heaven and Maisy.

It is all in the casting, Day 2 in the Big Brother House.

Having thought very carefully, I think the key to any successful Big Brother is about having the correct mix of people. In the year 2000, they chose a farmer, a builder, a marketing worker, a tour guide, a city broker (me, clearly), a single father, a mortgage broker, an unemployed person, and an office worker.
Nobody extraordinary, no wannabes, just normal people with something about them that the producers liked. It was the same for Big Brother 2 and Big Brother 3, then it all changed. This was probably because Big Brother 4 was so dull, which was purely down to bad luck/chemistry.


Then the producers thought that by having more extreme contestants that Big Brother would again be a success. Instead we hated some of the contestants (not all) in the next few series, as some behaved like thugs , a few were wannabes and the show became predictably inane. This inertia lasted until series 11, where the funny tasks and normal contestants made the show worth watching again.


It is simple to get this right: get ten normal people, no hairdryers, no watches, hot water once a day and give them hard tasks where they are more likely to fail which will give them a small food budget, which in turn causes strains and arguments and then you have a show. To try and force situations in Big Brother never works.


The new contestants are revealing far too much about themselves. Come on, it is the first 24 hours - have some mystery about you...although Pammie doing the washing up is classic BB. I think she is heavily under utilised by Big Brother.


Aaron is playing a very good game by making sure he talks to everyone on a one to one basis. Rebekah and Harry last night and Tashie and Louise today. Clever.


Maisy is a classic example of a huge wannabe who should have a tee shirt with desperado printed across the front.


This years housemates seem to have the intellectual capacity of badly beaten badgers, apart from Harry and Aaron who have quickly identified that their fellow housemates are thick, maybe they are right.

The New Housemates 24 hours on.

Too much reality TV this week, not something I ever thought I would say.

First off on Saturday night was Strictly Come Dancing, where the celebs were rather obviously paired off with the dancers who were either the right height (see tallest girl dancer with 6ft6in Audley) or the right status (see Brendan with Lulu) - this was all obviously pre-arranged ie the celebs and dancers knew, but us the viewers were supposed to be duped into believing it was a kind of lottery. I predict loveable Jason Donovan to win and clumsy-footed Audley Harrison to be out first.

The X Factor was more like the Gary and Kelly show, but the usual sad stories and obvious twists still made entertaining viewing. Just when are Tulisa and Louis going to shine? Is Louis had enough do we think?

I can't blog today and not mention Big Brother - 24 hours in and it is great a touch to have the 'milf' Pamela Anderson on the show. I always hate the first couple of days as there are just too many people to get to know (14 this year) and too much noise. However having the name checks on screen is very helpful.

The bitching already has started, which is slightly early and calling Pamela names has probably lost Rebekah the Spearmint Rhino dancer a fair few voters already - plus telling Aaron she has wee'd on a guy was a seriously bad move. First rule is always keep a low profile and do not boast in the first week and starting early friendships too early is a dangerous tactic. Arden for example is an ass boasting about how many girls he has slept with...

Here is the first exit poll (who is most popular) gained from what is said on millions of internet websites and kindly provided by data analyst extraordinaire Christian Howes.

The New Housemates: My First impressions

The 14 new housemates in the Big Brother house were chosen from 10,000 people who applied, but there are no Scots, Welsh, or Irish ones, none are disabled, no housemate is over thirty and I note no one is fat...

Mark 26, Salesman, quite normal, bit thick and slightly over friendly.

Maisie 19, Actress, not liked by the crowd, in the house for the wrong reasons, self-promoter.

Aaron 30, Arrogant, but well cast, will be good housemate.

Heaven 30, Model, dancer, healer, loopy.

Tom 20, Geeky, annoying, will do well.

Tashie 21, Actress/singer, might annoy others

Aden 19, Student. Normal young guy! Finalist.

Alex 18, Typical BB housemate! Girl next door but with hair extensions. Works at McDonalds.

Harry 23, Token posh boy, will be out fast! Has milkshake company

Rebeckah 28, Too good to be true, promises a lot (charity dance school), but will she deliver?

Anton 23, Cheeky likeable, maybe not as cocky as he likes to think.

Faye 23, Quite normal, well almost. The first to argue.

Jay 27, Token Geordie, loves his Mum, vote winner, plumber.

Louise 26, Another Model, dull.

Not bad casting, would have ditched the models and actors as too obvious. Think this series might be quite fiery.

Goodbye CBB

Welcome to my new blog. I am Nick Bateman. I was in the 1st UK Big Brother in 2000 and in Ultimate Big Brother last year. Here are my views on reality TV.

I think the last three weeks of Celebrity Big Brother were sexier, brighter and better than ever before with new broadcaster Channel 5. The ratings were perhaps not as successful as they would have liked, but paradoxically they were still a success in the grand scheme of things.

I feel that the show was fun, it had an absence of malice, apart from the male model Bobby and the controversy of 'sweatgate', but it was all a little bit too nice. The show needed more tasks, and less take away meals, treats, and booze. Also there was too much contact with the outside world, which is strange as the whole concept of the show is no contact, except with Big Brother.

Paddy the traveller deserved to win in the 'nice' stakes but twins Jedward should have won on entertainment value alone. I am surprised who won, as were the bookies. It seems the public go for who they like rather than who was the best housemate.

Nice and reformed as she is if Kerry had won I would have cried fix!

The housemates did OK and little damage was done to their careers. The real winner will be Channel 5 who have bought the franchise from Channel 4 at the same time as product placement on TV gets the green light - how clever is that. Owner Richard Desmond is one bright cookie.

You can just imagine.

Camera slowly pans over blatantly placed products in the kitchen...

Contestant 1: "Whats for lunch?"

Contestant 2: "How about some Heinz Baked Beans, with Lidl's own brand bacon?"

"This is Big Brother, can someone clean the camera glasses with Johnson's Wax, for a better shine!"

Somewhere at Channel 5, a constant ringing of a cash till is heard....